PARSIPPANY — James J. Stefel, 66, passed away on Sunday, May 3, at Morton Plant Mease Hospital in Clearwater, Florida.
Jimmy was born in Newark and grew up in Irvington. He lived in West Orange before moving to Parsippany in 1990.
Jimmy worked for the Township of Parsippany-Troy Hills as a Senior Maintenance Repairman. After working for the town Jimmy was a past chief and life member of Parsippany Rescue & Recovery.
He was predeceased by his son, Charles Pizzi and his daughter, Deborah Decker.
Survivors include his wife, Ruthann (nee-Frandsen); his son, J.R. Stefel; his sister, April M. Stefel; his daughter-in-law, Lisa Pizzi; his son-in-law, Dwain Decker; his six grandchildren: Jennifer, Nicole, and Christopher Decker; Anthony, Tiffany, and Juliana Pizzi; and his two great-grandchildren: Gabby and Brody Semple.
His funeral service was held on Saturday, May 9 at Par-Troy Funeral Home. The services continued at Parsippany Rescue and Recovery, where the Last Call was given and then the interment was at Gate of Heaven Cemetery, East Hanover.
In lieu of flowers please make donations in his memory to United Methodist Church, 903 South Beverwyck Road, Parsippany, New Jersey 07054 or Parsippany Rescue & Recovery, Post Office Box 45, Lake Hiawatha, New Jersey 07034.
The Eulogy for Jimmy Stefel
By Pastor Jeff Edwards, United Methodist Church
Jimmy Stefel was born on February 6, 1949 in Newark, to Margaret and James Stefel, whose parents had both emigrated from Hungary. James had been a POW in Germany during World War II. Jimmy grew up in Irvington, New Jersey with a younger sister April, and with two cousins, Johnny and Valerie, close at hand.
He loved fishing, and when he turned 12 and his mother would allow him to venture off on his own, Jimmy would walk with his cousin Johnny all the way from Irvington to SpeedwellLake in Morristown in order to fish. There were closer places they could have gone, but they just preferred Speedwell Lake.
In the summertime the family would spend a great of time in Chadwick Beach Island at the Jersey shore, where with Jimmy’s help his father was perpetually in the process of building a house there.
After graduating high school Jimmy went off to Chadron State University all the way out in Nebraska. He loved kids and had in mind getting a degree that would allow him to teach handicapped children. His mother would send him care packages with Oatmeal raisin cookies. He made extra money doing ironing. But he wasn’t much inclined to sitting in classrooms, and his dream of working professionally with handicapped kids began to fade when he realized he just didn’t have it in him to be stern with kids.
So after two years he dropped out of college and came back to New Jersey to live in West Orange. He got a job with an asphalt company for a couple of years before getting a civil service position with the Essex Mosquito Commission where he worked for ten years, after which he worked for the Fairfield Road Department for four years. Jimmy attended Lincoln Tech to get a degree in air conditioning and refrigeration, and started a part time business on the side.
In 1974 Jimmy met Ruthann on a date arranged by their best friends, quickly becoming friends, over time becoming each other’s best friends. Ruth Ann had two children from a previous marriage, and she particularly appreciated how loving Jimmy was to her kids. Charlie at age seven loved Jimmy from the get go; Debbie at 12 took more time to win over, but once Jimmy accomplished this, she would adore him from ever after.
As a side bit here, most of you know how Jimmy loved to eat, and how Jimmy was a straight shooter with distinctive tastes, and as such he was quick to let you know when he liked or didn’t like how something tasted. The one exception to this rule was with Debbie who over the years would make Jimmy a Chocolate Cream Pie that he really didn’t care for, but since she held such a soft spot in his heart, he never let her know.
Jimmy and Ruthann were married on June 25, 1977 at the West Orange Presbyterian Church, in a wedding that was delayed because Ruthann’s father forgot to pick her up. The reception was held at the West Orange Elks Club. The couple honeymooned at the shore.
Jimmy took on the role of Dad to Charlie and Debbie, going to all their special events, and becoming Charlie’s baseball coach.
Ruthann’s family up in Massachusetts adored Jimmy. Jimmy didn’t care for New York City, and as a result he had rooted from early age for the Boston Red Sox – the arch enemies of the Yankees. There was something about Jimmy that inspired great love in others, and in particular from Ruthann’s family. In 1986 when the Red Sox made it into the World Series Ginny, Vicky, and Stacie waited in line for a day and a half to get Jimmy third row seats.
In the last eight years Jimmy became particularly close to Vicky’s husband, Bobby Fish. Jimmy taught Bobby to fish, and became his fishing buddy to the end of his life.
Jimmy’s dad had wanted to hold a grandchild in his arms, but it unfortunately he died in 1981 before he could see his dream fulfilled. Jimmy was content to be a step dad, and had knew that the doctors had told Ruthann that there was no way she could get conceive a child. So there was both extreme shock and extraordinary joy present when word came down that Ruthann was in fact pregnant. The doctor said that there were women coming to his office who wanted to get pregnant but couldn’t who didn’t have one quarter of the things wrong inside them that Ruthann had wrong inside her. The pregnancy was a miracle, and Jimmy and Ruthann were sure the miracle had to do with Jimmy’s father pulling strings in heaven. This pregnancy went easier for Ruthann than either of her two previous pregnancies. Jimmy was tickled pink and delighted to attend birthing classes with Ruthann – classes Ruthann probably didn’t need herself having been through this drill twice before.
And when in 1983 JR was born he came out the spitting image of his father, sharing only, it seemed, dirty feet with his mother. And thus began a relationship between father and son that that is best described as that of “best buds.”
In 1989 the family moved from West Orange to Parsippany to share a house with Ruthann’s mother Joy who was alone after the death of Ruthann’s father.
There was a pool out back and many happy hours were spent by Jimmy with his son beside the pool. Particularly with Ruthann’s demanding work schedule, Jimmy became the one to take JR to his roller hockey and baseball games and such. Jimmy taught his son to fish and took him to the beach to go crabbing. They shared a particular passion for professional wrestling, watching it on TV and going to local events, and imitating what they saw with one another.
Before long after arriving in Parsippany, Jimmy was able to get a job utilizing his knowledge of heating and ventilation with the Parsippany Building Maintenance Department. He became deeply involved in the life of his community, getting involved early on with the rescue squad which would, as Ruthann put it, become Jimmy’s church. He never missed a meeting, and served for a time as the chief of the squad. He loved the friendships he made there, and the opportunity to help people in times of desperate need. He was on call, 24 7, going out to drive the ambulance at all hours of night and day.
It wasn’t easy what he witnessed at times. Jimmy would find it particularly hard to be present when young people were maimed or killed in accidents. Jimmy had a tough exterior, and was good in a crisis, but he was a softie inside and really cared about people. He was always willing to do whatever he could to help another human being in need. Jimmy would give you the shirt off his back.
At an early age Jimmy got his son involved at the Rescue Squad, who really enjoyed helping to get the trucks ready to ride in local parades.
Jimmy became particularly close to John Parnie and Joey Belladino; together they were the three musketeers, known for their practical jokes.
Another particularly close friend was Charlie Bedy.
Ruthann and Jimmy were always each other’s best friends. They told each other everything. When Charlie reported to his mother that at that World Series game his step-dad had been flirting with some Boston girls there, he was surprised when she laughed and told him Jimmy had already told her all about it. She knew how her husband liked to joke around, and she also knew her husband’s heart and his devotion to her.
He had that gruff exterior, but people quickly learned that he was a dog who was all bark but no bite. There was a child-like quality to Jimmy. He didn’t filter what he had to say; it would just come out – these wonderful, funny one liners that would speak the truth and make everybody laugh. He loved his dogs: Beauty, Casey and Willy and he grew to love JR’s cat, Petey, too.
Three years ago Jimmy was diagnosed with hepatitis C. He didn’t react well to the medications. His liver was deteriorating, but a heart condition kept Jimmy from receiving a liver transplant. But through it all Jimmy kept working. As I said before, there was something about Jimmy that would move people to do things for him. He was given a job that was less physically taxing working for Barbara at the Seniors Center. Even so, he was constantly exhausted, and had to take naps, but people like Barbara loved him so that they did what the could to accommodate him just so they could keep him coming to work.
Finally last December, Jimmy became so depleted that he stopped going in to work, and Ruthann cared for him at home.
Every October Jimmy, Ruthann and JR would fly` down to Florida to sit on the beach and fish and be with Ginny and his husband Victor, as well as Jesse their daughter and Jimmy’s godchild. In recent years Jesse would treat her uncle to back rubs that would always bring a smile to his face.
As Jimmy neared the end of his life, he became insistent that he wanted one last trip to Florida. And so it came to pass that exactly two weeks ago on Ruthann and Jimmy flew to Florida, where to Jimmy’s surprise he was met by JR. Jimmy spent three days in a beachside condo that Ruthann had rented. Ginny, Victor, and Jesse were there, and Bobby Fish too.
Jimmy had a bucket list he wanted to cross off:
He wanted to go to the flea market.
He wanted to buy a new fishing poll and go fishing.
He wanted to eat stone crabs.
He wanted to eat ice cream with jimmies; and Turkish taffy.
He accomplished everything on his list except to get a hair cut, though he asked to do that in the middle of the night Tuesday. Instead, with his consciousness fading, he checked into the hospital. The last really clear words he spoke were to JR, “I love you, too Buddy.” He died peacefully on Sunday. He was met on the far side by his parents and Ruthann’s parents, by Debbie and Charlie.
